#31 - Remarks About Foley & Pedophilia (Originally posted in MySpace 10/08/06)

My journey in life has taken me through personal contact with pedophiles.

I used to say, "You will never recognize the face of a monster in a crowd."

Because I used to feel that way about pedophiles.

Monsters.

This is what the child in me labelled them as such.

But, understanding pedophilia is so much more complicated than good guys versus bad guys.

You see...

some of the people who choose to walk in the shadows...

well, they present themselves as people who live in the light.

That is what Mr. Foley has done.

My mind has been reeling with the media coverage.

I had to turn off the news...

the pain and damage that is being created for those victimized by sexual predators is just overwhelming.

Oh, he's not a pedophile...

he never had CONTACT with a child.

Someone please define contact?

When we e-mail someone back and forth...

we tap into one's innermost thoughts.

There is an intimacy there.

What he did crossed a boundary that is never to be crossed.

His behavior was invasive.

He violated a child's trust.

He violated a child's innocence.

He violated a child's definition of what a man with power should be.

Is anyone ever going to say that this kid (and other victims... because, trust me... there will be more) will remain unchanged by this experience?

Utter nonsense.

Oh, he's an alcoholic.

Yes, and he still must remain accountable for his behavior.

And...

here's the real idiot excuse...

He's a victim of a sexual predator too.

Oh, that is so wrong...

someone in his position of power taking that excuse and maligning the majority of sexual abuse survivors who ARE NOT PEDOPHILES!

So I felt enraged.

And helpless.

And hopeless.

Shut the t.v. off...

and turned to books of wisdom.

I found these words today:

"The faults of others are easier to see than one's own; the faults of others are easily seen, for they are sifted like chaff, but one's own faults are hard to see. This is like the cheat who hides his dice and shows the dice of his opponent, calling attention to the other's shortcomings, continually thinking of accusing him."
- Buddha (UDANAVARGA 27.1)

Hey!

Buddha had a handle on Mr. Foley, long before Mr. Foley came to exist.

Many people of shadow try to hide in the light. They put themselves in positions of power chasing after a demon that really has been eating them up inside.
Here are some more words of wisdom:

"Why do you see the speck in your neighbor's eye, but do not notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your neighbor, 'Friend, let me take the speck out of your eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your neighbor's eye."

- JESUS (LUKE 6:41-42)

And after reading this, I thought to myself...

How have I been a hypocrite today?

What lies have I created for myself in order to hide my flaws...

to hide the sins I fail to notice?

And the sense of powerlessness stopped dead in its tracks.

I am not saying that Mr. Foley should be excused for his behavior...

or liberated from the justice system and appropriate consequences.

But, any time one of our brothers or sisters (and we are all children of the Divine)...

anytime one of us fails...

we fail too.

We triumph together and we fall down together.

We are all connected.

And to serve the body, the whole, all humanity, all of life...

we need to tend to the temple inside of us.

We need to tend to our souls, our lives.

You can not change the whole world.

But, you can change the world one tiny step at a time.

Today I start with being accountable for my behavior.

Today I take account of the wrongs that need to be made right.

That's plenty of work right there.

.. Loretta

#30 - Sexual Abuse Myths

Here is an excellent resource that addresses many misinformed, but commonly held beliefs about child sexual abuse:

Genesis Consultants: Sexual Abuse Recovery

The Catholic heirarchy would have done better to read this short list prior to ostracizing all homosexuals from the clergy.